


Nicotine

by BlurbWriting



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: Damon Salvatore (mentioned) - Freeform, Eventual Smut, F/M, New Beginnings, Stefonnie, Stelena, more tags to be added later
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-05-29 04:44:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15065405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlurbWriting/pseuds/BlurbWriting
Summary: Stefan can't get her out of his head.Elena should be everything he needs. Being the face of his first love, and loving him twice as hard, he should want her as badly as she wants him. She's sweet both in her personality and in between her legs, and she takes the absolute breath out of him. She's the perfect dream.But not the one that occurs in his sleep.





	1. The Killing Type

* * *

Stefan can't get her out of his head.

 

Elena should be everything he needs. Being the face of his first love, and loving him twice as hard, he should want her as badly as she wants him. She's sweet both in her personality and in between her legs, and she takes the absolute breath out of him. She's the perfect dream.

 

But not the one that occurs in his sleep.

 

Sucking in a breath, he makes sure he doesn't breathe out the wrong name and let's his heart beat faster as Elena curls into him.

 

He pretends to fall back asleep and tries not think about green eyes and magic touches.

 

-

 

"Would it kill you to ask.. Anyone out?" Elena whines at Bonnie. Twirling the straw of her drink between her fingers, she lets out a dramatic sigh and gives a pointed look at Stefan.

 

With an eyebrow raised, Bonnie asks. "Would it kill you to keep your girlfriend quiet?"

 

He tries not to let the words sting. Girlfriend. That's what Elena is to him. His epic love, his soulmate, his meant-to-be. He still flinches while Elena scoffs.

 

"What the hell, Bonnie? I'm your best friend! I just feel like you have so much to offer any guy you'd be willing to go out with." Elena's eyebrows furrow in that concerned expression, and takes Bonnie's hand into hers.

 

Bonnie licks her lips, making Stefan huff out a cough and look in the other direction.

 

Mint Chapstick and strawberry licorice. He'd bet his relationship on which one she'd taste like more.

 

These are thoughts your boyfriend isn't supposed to have.

 

Letting himself sit in his sin-filled mind, he looks around the Mystic Grill for signs of... Anything. It's rare that they ever have calm moments to themselves. Extremely rare.

 

"Maybe you should go out with.. Damon?" Elena suggests, making him alerted to the conversation again. She's completely lost her mind, he thinks.

 

Bonnie seems to think the same way too.

 

"Are you insane? What makes you think I'd want to go out with that mindless blood-lust killer?"

 

Looking at her with incredulousness, they both stare Elena down.

 

What is she thinking? Why would she say that? What is she thinking? Why would she say-

 

Thoughts spin wildly around, and his blood almost boils.

 

Elena seems to backtrack a little bit. "Well it's not like I'm forcing you to go out with him. But even just for a little bit of fun. Right? I'm sure he's no prude in bed." At this point, Stefan is ready to deny the offer for Bonnie. She's too good for him, hell, too good for anyone. But Damon is-.

 

A shrug of her shoulders and he deflates. "I just don't think it's a good idea."

 

He wipes any smugness off his face and reminds himself that he's not filled with any good ideas either.

 

 

 

 

It's probably the fleeting moments that make him feel starving, almost ripper-like. Small glances, a bump of shoulders, a touch of fingertips. Almost too quick, quick enough that he can feel the tremor of himself.

 

He's never been so hungry in his life.

 

The way she smiles at him in those moments makes him think she knows it too.

 

 

 

It goes on for months. He can practically taste her at this point. The want in the both of them is so strong. It's better than sex, practically. Better than blood, literally. It's a chase he could have forever.

 

At some point he forgets he's supposed to have a standard, or at least, he forgets he has Elena. Bonnie's mouth is hot against his, and he pushes her gentler than he expected against the wall. Her hands are soft and small against his chest, gripping up onto his shoulders and she shakes. All just for him.

 

Eventually, she's shoving him off, panting. "You have a girlfriend." It's like a bucket of cold water over his head. Elena.

 

The guilt settles in, but there's no regret in his actions. He gnaws on his lip, and says. "I haven't felt this with anyone."

 

And it was true. Katherine made him want her. She changed his life for better or for worse. And because of Katherine, he wanted Elena. Damn him for it all, but you can't blame him for lusting for Petrova beauty.

 

But Bonnie? Bonnie was an enigma. He's loved witches before, fucked them and tossed them away too. But Bonnie was no ordinary witch. She was powerful, enchanting. She could take care of herself, but was humbled enough to take care of others. That's what made her different from all the rest, he supposed. She was her own person, with all of her faults on her sleeve. And he wanted, desperately, to love her.

 

"If I break up with her," he says this after a long beat, "promise me a chance. A chance to prove myself worth your time."

 

Laughing at this, she shakes her head and scoffs. “Worth my time? Stefan you’re...” she trails off, almost hesitant.

 

After a moment, she says quietly, almost to herself. “Is something going on between you two? Or not going on? Because I don’t want to be that person who fills a need for you, or if this is some way to get back at Elena for kissing Damon—“

 

“Elena kissed Damon?” His mind stops any train of thought for that single sentence. He almost, almost lets out a breath in relief.

 

Looks like they’re both struggling with unwanted desires.

 

Stefan looks at Bonnie with all the admiration, adoration, and joy he can muster up.

 

Giving him an odd look, she asks in confusion “what are you—“

 

Suddenly time is moving too slow, and he holds her by the waist again. “This.” He states. “This is me wanting you, for as long as I can remember knowing you.”

 

Sucking in a breath, she looks at him with hope, covered with hesitancy. She places her hand over an arm, gripping at an elbow. “Are you sure about this?”

 

The surest I’ve ever been. He thinks, and nips at her lip before looking into her eyes with his usual brooding intensity. “As long as you’ll have me, Bonnie Bennett, I’m sure.”

 

They kiss again against the wall. It’s a start he doesn’t know the end to. Bonnie will still be hesitant; he’s a vampire, and their kind don’t mix. And he still has to figure things out with Elena. But in this moment, he could’ve sworn his life was complete.


	2. Chapter 2

It's easier than he thinks it should be. 

The first week is heartbreaking. Elena can't—doesn't  _want_ to believe that they're not together. She admits to kissing Damon, and eventually admits her feelings for them. It hurts in a way he can't explain. There's still a pull to her that doesn't shake. Perhaps it's because it was epic. It was supposed to be everything, like two puzzle pieces fitting together snug. 

Elena was—is an epic love that he will always reserve, but he does not want to be overwhelmed with her fire. He wants a slow burn, a trickle of heat that he can carry in his palm. 

Like now, with Bonnie's hand entangled in his cold one. The softness that she shares with him often leaves a lump in his throat, a fondness that keeps him still, a calm he hasn't felt in years. 

As they walk through the town square, his posture is lax. Even though Mystic falls is always on the brink of collapse, he feels perfect contentment with himself. 

"Is this still okay?" It's a question he asks for the fourth, maybe fifth time. He still can't believe she's allowed him to have this with her. As if he's ever really done anything to deserve the woman Bonnie Bennett is. 

"Why wouldn't it be?" She's gnawing on her lip, amused by his concern. He has to know, all the time, that she wants this too. 

Giving her a smile, and a squeeze to her hand, he mentions. "You're holding hands with a vampire. One struggling with addiction, and your ancestors aren't really too happy about this either." He spits them all out at once, every insecure thought. He needs this—to know if the consequences are okay, if she can handle him. If  _he_  deserves her handling him. 

She promptly stops, her fingers brushing through some of his locks, drawing a line up and around his scalp. Leaning into the touch, a chill runs up his spine. There's a silence that draws between them, like she doesn't know how to answer him, or maybe doesn't want to. He wouldn't blame her for just trying to focus on the good. 

But then she speaks softly, a whisper into his cheek. "This is definitely okay." It's simple, and doesn't need an explanation for him to get it. The relief that floods him is almost better than a fresh pretty meal. Their lips slide against one another for a moment, uncaring and casual. 

_Mint Chapstick,_ he thinks to himself. He could taste it off of her for days. 

 

Caroline was definitely the first of their whole group to accept them with open arms. A part of her maybe hoped for it. Stefan still wasn't sure if it was her  _still_ jealous rivalry with Elena or that she's a sucker for romance. Perhaps it was both. Not that he needed anyone's approval anyway. 

"If I thought it was bad for Tyler and I to be dating." Caroline whistled low, her blonde hair bouncing as she laughs at the scandal of it all. "I'm just happy for you both." 

 

A month goes by, before they eventually find a comfortable balance with each other and those around them. Stefan can't remember the last time he felt like he could walk in his own skin, without the judgement that came with. Even Damon never let up. He had to be perfect with his  _hero hair_ and his diet and morals. 

Now he sits with Bonnie resting her head in his lap, sipping on a blood bag. It's a strange, common occurrence that makes him think he's dreaming. 

"You've never kept me from doing magic, why would I keep you from feeding?" Bonnie had said, so casual and loving he kissed and kissed and kissed her. 

Bonnie drew out of her shell more often, too. In her own lap sat one of the many spell books she had in her collection. It became a hobby almost, possessing as many as she could get her hands on. This particular one was a gift from Kol, a Mikaelson a little too fond of the magic she held. Stefan didn't mind his infatuation, he was even a little amused. 

"Is this supposed to be curse magic or healing magic?" Bonnie mutters to herself, thumbing the page, a glow coming from her fingers. It pulls him out of his thoughts as he looks directly at the page.

_Invenire_   _amare._

 Brushing a hair out of her face, he kisses the small of her temple. "It means to find love."  

It was hard not to fall in love with the storm that was Bonnie Bennett. 

 

Stefan usually needs certain nights to clear his head. Just an hour or two, sorting through the day and wondering what he could've done better. His guilt is like a shadow that lingers over, darkening every bright corner until he needs a step back. To sit down, take a drink. Recently, there's forgiveness that he can find in himself. Only so he can do better, so he can move on. 

The clock hits 1:39 AM and suddenly Damon appears next to him, a glass of bourbon already snug in his hand. The Mystic Grill only accompanied them and the bartender. Stefan didn't even have to glance to know there's blood on his shirt, the stench of death coming off Damon in waves. 

It makes him huff out a laugh, already done with his night out. "Whatever you just did, I hope it was worth it." This has Damon downing his drink, already lifting his finger for another. 

"Just fuck off, won't you? I won't pretend to think that you actually care about what's going on with me." The jab was more than Stefan expected, but didn't surprise him. There was never going to be a satisfying moment where they both were happy. 

"And why the hell should I care?" Thoughts were no longer under his control. Exhaustion was a numbing thing, and maybe he's been influenced to no longer mind being blunt. 

It's as though Damon doesn't hear him; ignores him because he's never done anything different his whole life. "I'm not the better man." 

There's a quiet that immediately follows, because Stefan doesn't know what to say. He's never known what to say. It's not the first time Stefan has heard this from his brother. But it is the first time where he doesn't feel  _sad_ for Damon. He feels nothing. Damon has everything he should want, and it's not Stefan's job to fix it this time.

He gives his brother a pat on the shoulder, not wanting to indulge him in complex. "You can be, Damon. It's your choice." 

 

The drive to Bonnie's is calm, practically a mindless task as he pulls in the driveway and shuts off the engine. The lights in the house are still on, and he easily slips inside with a simple  _click_ of the door being shut. It's so domestic that he feels a little surge in his stomach at the thought of Bonnie being his home.

She's behind him before he can think to turn around, wrapping her arms around his waist and pressing her nose into his back. She's so small sometimes that he feels too towering. Nonetheless, it's a warmth he accepts gratefully, putting his hands right over hers. 

"I missed you today." She says quietly, turning her face into his shoulder blade. He's still thinking of Sunday mornings with newspapers and orange juice; Tuesdays with sparring and late night talks.  

 Murmuring a  _me too_ , he faces her slowly and cups her face between his hands. Always welcoming his touch, never afraid of the violence he carries with it. There's no pressure to work on their relationship with cautious movement. It's something he soaks up, and can't get enough of. 

Before he can even think to lean down and kiss her, she's unbuttoning her shirt, a warm expression on her face. 

"Tell me what you want right now." She says lowly, and it's times like this that Stefan can't be blamed for his lack of self control. 

He's working her down the hallway, up until her back hits the far wall. Leaning down to her ear, he nibbles gently on her lobe and eats up the shiver it brings her. He practically begs her. "Right here." 

It's uncommon for them to take this anywhere other than the bedroom. They're both private people. Not exactly prudish, but there's something sacred between the two of them that makes sex a bedroom thing.

Today's not one of those days.

He sinks lower, lower, all the way to his knees until he's pulling down her zipper and yanking down her jeans along with her panties. She's quivering before he even gets a hand on her, and he knows tonight's going to be a long one. 

 It's already a gift that he gets to love her, but being able to devour all the pinkest parts of her is an offering he'll never, ever be able to refuse. 

They spend the night taking turns on each other, already half gone and spending more time panting into each other's mouths than kissing. The moment he finally fucks her deep, he lets himself go a little rough with his thrusts. Soon enough Bonnie's moans are more honeyed than any blonde-haired meal he's bit into. She's leaving scratches on his back, trying to gain a steady position but he's not looking to be very generous, only wanting to punch into her sweet spot over and over until she can't take it anymore, until she's given him every ounce of her pleasure. 

As soon as she's tapping onto his shoulder, a little signal that she's feeling a little too dazed, he braces himself just enough over her to let himself come, the longest relief of pleasure he's ever experienced in his entire life. She soaks it all up with a soft sigh, squeezing weak fingers into his arms as they both let exhaustion overtake their bodies. 

Laying side by side, they're careful not to touch sensitive parts, wrung out and fucked enough for the whole week. It doesn't stop his fingers from tangling into her hair, leaving barely pressed kisses on her temple. 

It shouldn't be this easy, Stefan thinks. God knows he's made enough mistakes that there should be more fighting, more complications to this relationship than he could even imagine. But there's only a peace that can be described as understanding and comfort in one another, something that only Bonnie's hidden romance novels achieve. But he has this, and he has her. 

 

Damon might not be the better man. But Stefan knows who got the better girl. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a lengthy 2,000 word porn scene for this chapter but then my laptop took a shit and now you're stuck with what you're stuck with. I also tried to read Stefonnie fanfic to inspire me but ya'll got nothin. I'm so sad. Please enjoy and thanks for waiting so patiently for me to update this lmao

**Author's Note:**

> Crying because writing is hard. The title of this fic is the next song in my shuffle list because I refuse to call it “Freek-a-leek.” Porn next chapter.
> 
> Also note: I’m a huge stele a fan but stefonnie is just fuckin adorable okay.


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